The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: People are still pretty interested in Charlie Sheen, Clark Gable's grandson brings further disgrace to his family name, and USA has an innovative new show.

Oh, brother. Charlie Sheen's new FX shitcom Anger Management premiered last night, ensnaring 5.5 million viewers, making it the highest-rated debut in the network's history. So Charlie Sheen is now a part of FX's history. His influence seeps ever deeper. Meanwhile only 1.4 million people watched the beautiful third season premiere of Louie, so America is mostly dumb jerks. [Entertainment Weekly]

Making his grandfather proud, Clark Gable III, the laser-wielding menace who also got stabbed once, has been named the new host of syndicated reality show Cheaters, on which the old host got stabbed once. So that's terrific. If anyone who lives in L.A. sees a skeleton in a tattered suit shambling down the freeway, don't be scared, it's just Clark Gable on a mission to stop his grandson. [The Hollywood Reporter]

The USA Network has picked up a new show called Graceland, about a bunch of agents from various law enforcement agencies — FBI, DEA, MIB — who have to all live in a house together while on a case, and to figure out what happens when law enforcement agents stop being polite and start being real. Sounds weird! Also super strange that USA would do a show about people in law enforcement! Isn't that so weird?? USA: Characters welcome, except only characters that are somehow involved with the law. The big news about this show is that buff Broadway boy Aaron Tveit is one of the leads, which is exciting for fans of that kind of thing. There is one woman in the cast and her character is described as "strong willed," so it's that sort of character. Man. Who watches USA? Same people who watch Anger Management? Does Clark Gable's grandson watch USA when he isn't busy with his laserbeams? These are the questions. [Deadline]

American Horror Story has cast Secret Circle (and Amazing Spider-Man) hunk Chris Zylka in what is being called a "mysterious role." Ha, right. The only thing "mysterious" about his role is how every time he goes to Ryan Murphy's office to "talk about his character" he comes out a half hour later with his shirt on backwards. Quite a mystery! [The Hollywood Reporter]

True Blood's diminutive lead vampire Stephen Moyer, who plays Boring Bill on the show, has been cast in a lead role in Devil's Knot, Atom Egoyan's film about the West Memphis Three. He'll play the prosecutor responsible for putting the boys in jail for murders they didn't commit. That's a big, mean, juicy role for him. Too bad he'll be short and boring in it. (Sorry, Stephen, I'm sure you're lovely, I just really hate vampire Bill.) [Deadline]

TNT has renewed their show Rizzoli & Isles, which again provokes the question of who exactly watches that show? Tea Party patriots who love Angie Harmon? Old fans of Pacey Witter's sister, who is also on that show? People with the last name Rizzoli? 'Tis mystery! A forever unknowable mystery. [Deadline]