Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Pippa Middleton spent the night before her semiautomatic unpleasantness with dwarves, strippers, and fire-eaters, Julian Schnabel and Rula Jebreal call it quits again, and another Kennedy is born.

What was Pippa Middleton doing in Paris the night before she hopped in an Audi with friends, one of whom waved what appeared to be a semi-automatic, setting off all kinds of jail speculation? Good question. It seems that the wee Middleton was in town to attend a "raunchy costume bash held in a city theater" in honor of "aristocrat and fashion leader Arthur de Soultrait," was turning 30. The party included "dwarfs and strippers... kinky masks, bondage outfits and a woman fire-eater, making sparks fly with a power tool." [Page Six]

Julian Schnabel is once again on the market after resplitting up with Palestinian journalist Rula Jebreal, his girlfriend of nearly five years. (The couple tried going their separate ways back in June, following a very tense press tour for Schnabel's adaptation of Jebreal's book Miral, but it didn't quite take.) The 60-year-old Diving Bell and the Butterfly director is now said to be making time with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model May Andersen.  [Page Six]

Uh oh: Robert Procop, the guy who sold Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie's very fancy engagement ring is now reportedly being sued by another client for "fraudulently selling a 25 carat diamond necklace, which was later determined to be only 17 carats." Jolie's ring contained 10 karats, all of which we're sure Pitt will be checking in the near future. [Radar]

How do you celebrate Facebook paying $1 billion for your photo-sharing service? If you're Instagram co-founders Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger you spend Friday night celebrating in Las Vegas. The duo apparently "hit Wynn and Encore Las Vegas on Friday night, where Jesse Waits, managing partner at Encore’s XS nightclub, took the duo to dinner at the resort’s Botero restaurant with top DJs Deadmau5 and Avicii." (Prior to dinner, Waits apparently took a photo of the group and posted it on Instagram.) After dinner, sources say the two "held court at the owner’s table at XS before moving onstage to get a closer view while Avicii performed," before ultimately calling it a night at around 4 a.m. [Page Six]

Publicist Jonathan Cheban -- now courting fame himself as a cast member on E's reality TV show The Flack Life The Spin Zone -- is apparently "taking credit" for the getting Kanye West and Kim Kardashian together, even if it is just for a few stunt dates. It's worth noting that the fine folks at Us Weekly gave credit to the "flirty relationship" West and Kardashian have had for years. But tomato, tomahto. [Gatecrasher]

In bruising New York divorce news: Clementina Flaherty will not be vacating the penthouse at 1050 5th avenue following her not-so-pleasant split from "zinc magnate" (!) William Flaherty. Records indicate she's paying $13 million to stay in the fancy duplex, a bit of a steal, considering the property was most recently listed for $32 million. [The New York Observer]

It seems that over the weekend, New York Times deputy D.C. bureau chief Carl Hulse and his band, The Native Makers, took the stage at 18th Amendment and "ripped through a series of cover songs." Reportedly, "the playlist leaned heavily on the Rolling Stones and other classic rock favorites" and the venue's set-up was less than ideal, because the band had to play beneath a big TV that was running a marathon of Rocky movies. Other media-types spotted in the crowd included The Wall Street Journal's Neil King, along with his wife, Shalaigh Murray, who is now communications director for the Vice President. Huffington Post unemployment reporter Arthur Delaney and Washington Post local politics reporter Mike DeBonis were also on hand.   [Fishbowl DC]

Former Rhode Island Rep. Patrick Kennedy is a first-time father after his wife Lauren gave birth to a six pound, 15 ounce baby boy Sunday evening. His name is Owen.  [The Reliable Source]