The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Lindsay Lohan gets a big Lifetime role, Gina Carano keeps on acting, and the BBC cancels a show.

Apparently Lindsay Lohan is definitely, like for sure definitely, going to play Elizabeth Taylor in an upcoming Lifetime: Television for Soft Focus Stunts original movie. For a while lots of people thought Lohan's casting was just a rumor that Lifetime was perpetuating to get attention for the movie, but nope. It appears to be real. It's a real thing that's happening. The movie is going to be called Liz & Dick, because ever since The Client List premiered the network has been feeling a little wild, must be spring or something, and it will be about Taylor's relationship with Richard Burton. Nothing is confirmed, but word is that the network has offered the Richard Burton role to Jesse Camp. [Vulture]

Gina Carano, the mixed martial arts fighter whom Steven Soderbergh cast in this winter's action movie Haywire, may be joining the cast of Fast and the Furious 6, which is about Paul Walker and Vin Diesel zooming around Ft. Lauderdale in Hoverounds. This is actually kind of perfect, because Carano seems nice and everything and has a neat story so we want her to get work, but, um, she's not so good at the acting. Which makes a Fast and the Furious picture perfect for her! Nobody acts in those things. They just stare sweatily at each other and hug. (There was a lot of hugging in the last one. Seriously, go watch it and notice all the hugging.) Nice work, Carano! [The Hollywood Reporter]

Oh dear. The BBC has canceled its rebooted series Upstairs, Downstairs after only two seasons. Which sort of adds insult to the injury apparently done to the show by Downton Abbey, which stole Upstairs' thunder last year and is basically the same show, even though Upstairs thought of it originally back in the 1970s. One hopes this means that Eileen Atkins and Maggie Smith will soon be engaging in fisticuffs in Trafalgar Square while Jean Marsh wallops Hugh Bonneville with her purse. Get ready to fight, old British people! [Deadline]

Zach Galifianakis' genuinely funny web series Between Two Ferns will soon be a Comedy Central special. There will be a half-hour version of the absurdist interview show airing before the Comedy Awards on May 6th. The show will feature Tina Fey, Jon Stewart, and supposedly Richard Branson, though it might be a comedian just pretending to be Richard Branson. So, that's something to look forward to? Yeah, sure. Sure. [Vulture]

Malin Ackerman recently said that she doesn't think a planned biopic of porn star Linda Lovelace, in which she was supposed to star (after Lindsay Lohan dropped out), is going to happen. Apparently shooting was supposed to start in March but now, a month later, she still hasn't heard anything. So it's probably dead in the water. Which is a real tragedy. Now we'll only get one depressing biopic about a battered porn star from the 1970s, the one that's just been made with Amanda Seyfried playing Lovelace. One is just not enough of this story. We need more and more and more. Won't some kind benefactor give Ackerman's movie the money it needs? For the good of the nation? [The Hollywood Reporter]

Interim Haitian president Sean Penn (right? Wasn't he down there doing something?) has been cast in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, a remake being directed by and starring Ben Stiller. Penn's role is said to be "small but pivotal," a phrase which could probably be the setup for some sort of penis joke, but we're tired. Anyway, Penn joins Kristen Wiig, Shirley MacLaine, and Patton Oswalt. Finally with Penn's inclusion a true comedian joins the cast. [Deadline]