The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Bill Maher isn't going anywhere for a while, Mel Gibson keeps making bad choices, and Ryan Seacrest makes some more money.

Pop the champagne, conservatives! You'll be getting at least two more years of a hectoring windbag who you can claim represents all liberals/atheists/whatever else. Bill Maher's HBO show Real Time has been renewed for 11th and 12th seasons, which will take the show through 2014. Isn't that exciting, everyone? We're going to get so many more fabulous panel discussions interrupted by Maher's wheezy jokes, though who really cares because all he's interrupted is some posturing celebrity and Andrew Sullivan sneering at some token (moderate) conservative whom the audience boos at like Romans at the Coliseum. What a great time that show is! I hope he calls Nikki Haley a "tw-t" or something just so we can hear some whining about that every time the issue of women's reproductive health comes up. The future is bright, folks. Really, really bright. Like nuclear flash bright. Best not to look at it. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Speaking of grim things, Mel Gibson is said to be joining the cast of Robert Rodriguez's film Machete Kills, a sequel to his Mexploitation film Machete. So that's great. Good to have Mel Gibson in a movie called Machete Kills. What's next, Jew Car? C'mon, Mel. C'mon. Your movies since the, erm, unpleasantness happened have been: The Beaver, Edge of Darkness, Get the Gringo, and now Machete Kills. Guy. Isn't there a script called Smiles and Laughs and Hugs out there that you could do? What about I Love Everyone Here's a Hundred Dollars: An Interactive Mel Gibson Experience? Or just Please Forgive Me. Why not just that. That's certainly, certainly better than MEL GIBSON MACHETE KILLS. Gah! Just got scared even typing that. [Deadline]

Here is some good renewal news. America's favorite questioning babysitter, Ryan Seacrest, will continue on with American Idol for two more seasons, earning $15 million for each one. That'll put his $15 million/year stretch at five seasons. Which is a lot of money. A lot of money to stand around and say things like "You are going home, if home is the couches, because you have won a losing competition on opposite day, meaning you have lost the losing competition, so you have really won, meaning you are safe." Just a lotta money to say that. Ohhh, who are we kidding. Riley Seabeast is what makes the whole show work. He's a little genius, that one. Grin on, sweet seahorse! [The Hollywood Reporter]

The ratings are in and HBO's new comedy Veep performed reasonably well on its first outing on Sunday, pulling in 1.7 million viewers across two broadcasts. That's probably well enough to earn it a speedy second season renewal. So, good for them. It's a good show that deserves to run for a while. Meanwhile, the little-talked-about series Girls, which I think is about four old mixed-race women who live out in the country or something, held on to most of its audience in its second week, with 1.1 million viewers for the night. Which is respectable. (Though, jokes aside, I thought the ratings might go up considering all the chitter chatter, but I guess not. Oh well.) [Entertainment Weekly]

Jessica Chastain will likely join the cast of Iron Man 3, though only as a supporting character, not the leading lady. That role is already filled by Gwyneth Paltrow, whose Pepper Potts is said to be getting a bit more screentime in this go-around. So yeah, back off, Chastain. There can be only one patrician-faced redhead in this movie and you'd better believe that's going to be Gwyneth Paltrow. Good luck on this one, Chastain. You're gonna need it. Why do you think Terrence Howard left after the first one? He still can't hear the word "goop" without trembling. [The Hollywood Reporter]

For all you sad Anglophiles out there, watching your torrented ITV shows and searching for Simon Amstell YouTube clips with pursed-lipped fervor, here are the BAFTA TV award nominations. So, go and get upset about the ones you haven't seen and once again curse your rotten luck for having been born in a place where they say "season" instead of "series." [BAFTA]

Here is a new trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the new indie from Whit Stillman. Gone from the first Joe movie are Marlon Wayans, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Sienna Miller. In are The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock, Adrienne Palicki (oh Tyra... really?), and Bruce Willis. Other than that, it's the same exact movie. Enjoy!