The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Selma Blair is in big Sheen-related trouble, Viola Davis lands another big role, and Mark Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson are going to make beautiful music together.

Troubling and potentially tragic news comes today that the actresses Selma Blair and Shawnee Smith have been cast in Charlie Sheen's upcoming FX comedy Anger Management. It's unclear how this misfortune befell Ms. Blair and Ms. Smith, who will play Sheen's love interest and ex-wife respectively, but know that various local authorities are currently meeting to see what can be done to get these women to safety before they begin to show signs of Sheenphasia, a condition that causes sufferers (like the recovering Jon Cryer) to willfully endure months if not years of Sheen exposure for nothing more than potentially millions of dollars. Our thoughts go out to their families as we pray for their swift rescue. [Deadline]

Mark Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson have signed on to star in the "feel-good romance" Can a Song Save Your Life?, to be directed by Once's John Carney. Like that film, Can a Song focuses on a struggling musician (Johansson) finding love through music, this time with a faded music producer (Ruffalo). He sees her singing at a bar and decides to help her out and the next thing you know she's singing Tom Waits. So actually it's a tragedy. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Another day, another role for Viola Davis. The likely Oscar winner has been cast in the supernatural thriller (lotta those these days) Beautiful Creatures, based on the first book in a popular series about two teens (who lurrrve each other) who investigate their mysterious families. Davis will play a seer who, uh, oversees the boy teen in the Richard LaGravanese-directed movie. Hm, so let's hope it's an actual meaty role rather than just the Adult character in the next Twilight. Though, hell, if it's earning her a big fat paycheck, who cares if it's just the Adult character. You ever hear Billy Burke complaining? No you do not. You most certainly do not. [Deadline]

NBC has essentially canceled their low performing freshman series The Firm, a sexy show about a sexy gym where everyone is nice and firm. Bet you want to watch it now! Well, no, sorry, that's not actually what it's about. It's really just a series based on the John Grisham novel and movie of the same name, that's all. The network moved the show to Saturdays for the rest of its first season run, which is nearly always the kiss of death. Ah well, it's probably good that the talented cast, among them Juliette Lewis, Molly Parker, and Josh Lucas, got out early. Taking the show's place on Thursday nights will be the long-delayed procedural Awake, which stars Lucius Malfoy as a cop leading a double life. Well, yeah. Upstanding public citizen by day, terrible Death Eater by night. We're onto you, Malfoy. And that son of yours too. [Entertainment Weekly]

ABC has ordered a multicam sitcom pilot called The Smart One from producer Ellen DeGeneres which, and this is so weird, talk about a crazy coincidence, stars DeGeneres' wife Portia De Rossi. Wild, huh?? Can you imagine what that first meeting must have been like? "Wait, what are you doing here?" "I'm here for The Smart One." "What??? You too? I'm in that!" "Get outta here." "Hand to god. I knew we both had meetings this morning but this is just ridiculous." "What a nutty town." "Really is. Well, how about that. Let's get to work." Hollywood is such a strange, magical place! [The Hollywood Insider]

Jane Levy, the sardonic redhead from Suburgatory, has replaced Lily Collins as the lead in the upcoming The Evil Dead remake. She'll basically play the "corresponding" role to Bruce Campbell's role in the original one. Now, now, before you get all upset about "who needs an Evil Dead remake, the original is perfect, why do they have to needlessly remake everything, Tinseltown stinks, everyone's a jerk, I'm moving to a farm to live like a Shaker," just know that both original director Sam Raimi and Campbell are producing this. So they're onboard. And if they're onboard then you should be onboard, because they made the movie. Yeah, yeah, George Lucas also made Star Wars and ain't nobody should have ever once been onboard for those prequels, but just try to deal with this sanely and rationally. You know the Shakers don't, like, do it, right? They don't. Like, ever. That's why there aren't any Shakers left. So, y'know, just consider that, OK? Just consider that. [Deadline]