When a man low on campaign funds sets off to try to win a long Republican primary battle, he must be prepared for even the direst eventuality. Such is the fatalism of Rick Santorum (as played by Andy Samberg on Saturday Night Live). Our brave hero faces fate unflinchingly: "If the lesbians don't get me, the Mormon death squads probably will." 

But on to the star of the show. That is, on to Charles Barkley, pretending to be Shaquille O'Neal, with a piece of bologna stuck to his head. You almost get the sense Charles and the writers think Shaq's a little slow.

But really, let's test this thespian's range. Perhaps with a topical 2012 Mayan calendar sketch. Oh dear, no. Oh dear, YES. 

Say what you will about other cultures throughout space and time. We're the ones who got Charles Barkley making loincloth jokes. So there.