The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Lars von Trier gets the French off his back, Ice Cube heads to TV, and Chris Columbus finds Jesus.

Well, that's over. Provocateur auteur Lars von Trier is officially off the hook for saying "I understand Hitler" during a press conference at last May's Cannes Film Festival. Because laws in Europe can be kind of crazy, he was facing actual criminal charges, for "justifying war crimes," which could have put him in jail for five years. This isn't that surprising. Like, obviously they were never actually going to prosecute the guy for saying a boneheaded thing at a film festival, they just wanted to give him a formal warning. And really, could you imagine Lars von Trier at a French prison? Sure you might think it's all people in black and white striped berets playing accordions and drinking wine (toilet wine, but wine nonetheless) and eating baguettes (toilet baguettes, but baguettes nonetheless), but actually French prison is no joke. Von Trier, for all his pugilism, would probably not fare too well in a place like that. So good thing, guy. You dodged a bullet. Next time don't say stupid stuff like that. Though, you did give us the unending gift of Kirsten Dunst reaction shots, so OK, maybe keep saying stupid stuff. Just make sure an actress is there to react to it. [THR]

Sienna Miller (remember her?) has been cast in The Birds! Well, no, rather, she's been cast in a BBC biopic about the making of The Birds, specifically about how Alfred Hitchcock was kind of obsessed with Tippi Hedren. Miller, of course, will be playing Hitchcock. That sounds like an interesting movie. More interesting, at least, than that straight-up remake of The Birds they were going to do with Naomi Watts. That thing looks to be dead in development hell, thankfully. But yeah, Sienna Miller! She's back. Sorta. [Deadline]

Ice Cube (we all remember him) has signed a deal to star in a show called Eye for an Eye for FX. So OK, if the last item taught us anything, it's that this is actually a TV show about the making of the 1996 movie Eye for an Eye starring Sally Field. So Ice Cube is playing Sally Field in a new TV show about show business. That's what we should be gleaning from this, we're pretty sure. And in case anyone tries to tell you that, oh no, it's actually about a paramedic who snaps and becomes a vigilante, Falling Down-style, they are wrong. Dead wrong. Ice Cube is going to impress with his incredible (and classic, if you've ever been to his dinner parties) Sally Field impersonation and that's that. [Deadline]

Hunger Games! Hungah Gimz! OMG! Yes, it's Hunger Games news time, but keep your knickers on there, don't get too excited. It's just something about the music. Original composer Danny Elfman has bowed out and James Newton Howard is stepping in for him. Which, actually, seems OK. Elfman's great and all, but he's a little whimsical maybe for Hunger Games? Not that Hunger Games is Night and Fog, but you know, it's not Beetlejuice either. James Newton Howard, on the other hand, does big, serious movies like Dances With Wolves and The Fugitive (and Eye for an Eye!), so that should fit well. And y'know, it's just the music anyway, and all we really care about music-wise is [spoiler alert?] the sappy song Katniss sings to Rue at one point (heh, point), the one that's being written by T. Bone Burnett. Everything else is just background. So compose away, new guy. Meanwhile we'll just be constantly freaking out until Finnick is cast. [EW]

Oh terrific. Chris Columbus, director of a few good things (Home Alone, Adventures in Babysitting) but very often a lot of crap (Percy Jackson, that abominable Rent movie), has decided to go and make a movie about Jesus Christ when he was a kid. You know how in the Bible he like disappears for twenty years or whatever? Well this movie, adapted from a book called Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, will be about J.C. leaving Egypt and moving to Nazareth and, what, starting a new school and trying to fit in and everything? "The kids on the bus are all mean to me because Dad is their dads' boss." "Well, honey, to be fair, your Dad is everyone's boss, so..." Then Joseph mutters drunkenly in a corner and Mary sends Jesus to go play outside and she lights a cigarette and returns to her Pale Blue Robe Store catalog. It's gonna be great, for sure. [Variety]

Sometimes Deadline is very funny. For example, today comes news that David Burtka, husband to Neil Patrick Harris and sometimes actor, has been hired as a correspondent for E!. Good news for him, right? Well, not to hear Deadline tell it. They give him the backhanded compliment of announcing his new gig and then immediately writing, "Burtka made his Broadway debut in Edward Albee’s The Goat, and played Tulsa opposite Bernadette Peters in Sam Mendes’ Gypsy." Hahahah. So they're basically like, "Good for David Burtka for landing on E!, but also know that he used to star in important plays by American masters and in musicals opposite giant talents directed by lauded theater directors. And now he's on E!. So." It's just kinda fainting with damned praise. Or whatever people say. The point is, well done, Deadline. [Deadline]

We don't know what the next Pixar film from Pete Docter, who directed Up and Monsters, Inc., will be called or when it will come out, but we now know that the movie "takes place inside of a girl’s mind," "is about her emotions as characters," and "is unlike anything you’ve ever seen." So that sounds kind of exciting! It's an idea that could easily be turned into something creative and wonderful and whimsical and a little sad like the best Pixar movies are. Or, y'know, it could be Herman's Head for kids, and then Pixar will have to shut down their offices and sell all the furniture and it's all over. Flip of a coin, really. [Slash Film]