The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: A bunch of weird "celebrities" are going to wife swap, The Early Show gets a new name, and get ready for new Dallas.
Oh good grief. ABC has announced the complete cast of their gruesome-sounding new show Celebrity Wife Swap (so hard to not type "swamp") and it is as sad and unpleasant as expected. We've got Gary Busey and Ted Haggard, a pairing we already knew about that does, to be honest, represent the crown jewel in the crazy crown, but there are some intriguing new additions too. Among them are Growing Pains' Tracey Gold swapping with Carnie Wilson (because of the charming eating disorder/weight problem connection? Real refined, ABC), wrestler Mick Foley swapping with '90s hunk Antonio Sabato Jr., and, sigh, Reno 911!'s Niecy Nash switching with Tina Yothers from Family Ties. So basically it's just a bunch of forgotten weirdos (not you Niecy and Mick and a couple others) doing a weird fake marriage experiment just so they can be on TV. This is by no means a novel concept, obviously, but it's still a bit surprising that folks are still doing this in 2011. Hadn't we moved on? It would have been nice if we'd moved on. [Vulture]
Another day, another deluge of awards! Today the National Board of Review has given out their trophies, choosing Martin Scorsese's charming children's movie Hugo as its favorite movie of the year. George Clooney won for his acting in The Descendants, while Tilda Swinton scored top honors for We Need to Talk About Kevin. (Still so bizarre that movie made it through all of development and testing and stuff and maintained that title.) Felicity Jones and Rooney Mara won Breakthrough Performance awards, because pretty young white women really did do the most important new acting of the year. (Sorry, Pariah.) Anyway, no huge surprises here, though this might mean that Hugo is more of an Oscar nomination contender (it will not likely win) than previously thought. [The Wrap]
CBS has changed the name of their Early Show to CBS This Morning, as they transition into a more serious morning program. Yes, nice and basic. Denotes real hard news. No cooking segments or ditzy celebrity interviews on this show. But you know what? They could have gone even further with the straightforward literal title. What about CBS Morning News? Or, better yet, Start-of-Day Facts Hour. Or Solar Cycle-Determined Information Program. Or maybe Professor J.J. Sunbeam's Morningtime Learning Lesson. Yup, that's it. Moonves, you reading this? Go with that last one. Very professional. [THR]
Oof, here is a promo clip for TNT's upcoming Dallas revival, featuring the cast talking about the show like it's friggin' Shakespeare or something. (Personally we would have rather had a revival of Henrik Ibsen's Knots Landing, but that's just us.) Observe and cringe at all the cliches coming tumbling out of the pretty, pretty mouths of cocky young Ewing guys Jesse Metcalfe and Josh Henderson. (Both Desperate Housewives alums, naturally.) There's definitely a "pushing the envelope" and a "sky's the limit" in there. Well spoken, boys. "Dallas is really a tour de force, it's in it to win it, it's not here to make friends." Such rare and original poetry!
Here's a kinda blurry photo of Daniel Day-Lewis in his Abraham Lincoln makeup for Steven Spielberg's upcoming biopic. He looks good! Like he just walked off a penny. We were pretty bummed when Liam Neeson dropped out of this (well, as "bummed" as one can be about a cast shake up on a vague and faraway movie about Abraham Lincoln), so it's good to see that Day-Lewis will at least physically nail the part. Can't wait to watch him cross the Delaware as he goes to war with Japan and then signs the Volstead Act! What a fascinating life Abraham Lincoln, or 46th president, lived in the 1300s. [Deadline]
Tom Cruise is planning on doing battle with aliens. Namely when his family comes to visit for the holidays! Ha ha, Tom Cruise is an alien. No, no, he's going to be doing a movie called We Mortals Are which is basically Source Code but with aliens. (Dead guy is in a time loop reliving the same scenario over and over again but hoping to get different results. Sort of like Cruise's movie career over the past ten or so years.) So he'll be fighting the aliens. He's not one of the aliens. Because Tom Cruise is not an alien! He is just a regular human man with a wife he loves, her sex parts and all, and a totally human baby that can't see through walls or fly and doesn't eat grasshoppers and sleep on the ceiling or anythingl. He's basically a Norman Rockwell painting, that totally normal human Tom Cruise. End communication. [THR]
I Hate My Teenage Daughter didn't totally tank in the ratings last night. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. [EW]
Tom Cruise contemporary Julia Roberts is signing on to do a movie called Second Act, about a woman who's never had a job and then all of a sudden has to get a job. So wait, Julia Roberts is doing a simultaneous remake of both Marci X and From Prada to Nada? Julia, girl. You gotta stop making movie deals while watching Netflix Instant after the second glass of wine. We know it's fun, but just stop making movie deals! Wait 'til tomorrow! Then you will do something good, like My Best Friend's Wedding 2: The Legend of Rupert's Gold, instead of this stuff. [THR]