The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: A remake of an 11-year-old movie is in the works, Goldie Hawn is back, and Oprah's TV network considers a new strategy.

You've probably heard this story from your grandparents: Eleven long years ago, a film came out based on aging partyboy Bret Easton Ellis' bleak 1980s satire novel American Psycho. Christian Bale, uh that's Batman to young people, played a handsome, successful Wall Street prince who just happened to brutally murder people in his spare time. The movie was well-received, became something of a cult classic, and then time moved on. And now, finally, three elections and like an ice age or something later, Lionsgate is developing a remake of the picture. It's about damn time. We were beginning to worry we might not see an American Psycho remake in our lifetime. So thanks, Lionsgate. Things feel good again. Though, they'd feel even better if someone would hurry up with that We Bought a Zoo remake that everyone's been clamoring for. Like, Matt Damon's been dead for years! It's time, Hollywood. It's time, America. [Variety]

Something old, now something new. Hot actress of the moment Goldie Hawn will likely film a pilot for HBO called The Viagra Diaries, about a 65-year-old woman who's single for the first time in basically her entire adult life. Husband up and leaves, she's miserable, but then she reunites with her old friends Bette Midler and Diane Keaton and they sing a song and solve everything. Well, that's what should happen anyway. Either way, this is exciting! Who doesn't like Goldie Hawn? Jerks, that's who. [Deadline]

Speaking of likable actors, Holly Hunter has been cast as Julianne Hough's mom in Diablo Cody's upcoming directorial debut. Hunter will play something of an overly religious prig whose daughter survives a plane crash and decides to let loose. Why can't it be Holly Hunter who lets loose? She's so fun when she lets loose. With that marble-mouthed drawl and all that. Oh well. Apropos of very little, here's a Holly Hunter FunFact™: She's deaf in one ear! Yup! What a lady. [Deadline]

Oprah's struggling cable network OWN (Oprah Whenever Necessary) has decided to shift their target demographic a little bit by more heavily pursuing black viewers. See they noticed that of all the network's stellar programming, from My Foot Pain to Let's Sit in Oprah's Garage for a While, a show called Sweetie Pies, a reality show about a black family running a successful restaurant business, gets nearly twice as many viewers as everything else. So, clearly black people (well, black women for the most part) are willing to watch OWN, meaning the execs now want to give them more things they think they'd like to watch. Which could prove an interesting strategy, seeing how lily white other lady networks like WE and Oxygen are. Of course Oprah herself has never directly targeted any one demo beyond heavy-hearted feelings havers, so this would be a bit divergent for her, but it's not entirely her thing, this television network, so other people have a say too. Whatever they do, we just really hope they don't cancel America's Best Mudrooms. Man, what a program. [THR]

Here's a trailer for The Five-Year Engagement, a comedy starring the likable duo of Emily Blunt and Jason Segel. They get engaged and are in love and everything, but then one of them gets a job and so the wedding gets delayed and delayed and delayed, much to their partner's annoyance. The surprising thing, though? It's the dude who's all eager to get married and the chick who has a busy job. Whaaa?? Where are we, Soviet Russia? Up is down! Left is right! Well, no, there ain't nothin' right about this. Maybe they should call it The Five Year Engayment, 'cause this dude's totally whipped. What a weird movie for gross weirdos. (Looks cute!)

 
And now here's a new trailer for the Meryl Streep sex comedy The Iron Lady, about notorious English she-cat Margaret Thatcher. Watch here as she entertains whole rooms full of men and invades South America for lusty conquest. Looks almost unbearably titillating!
 

Unsurprisingly, ABC has canceled their painful new sitcom Man Up, which was a daring and bold show about dopey white men. Sucks that nontraditional things, stuff as outside-the-box like this, so rarely get the attention they deserve. Something as straightforward and basic as Community runs for years, and Man Up, an invigorating and thrillingly different series, just gets tossed in the dump heap. Culture is broken. [THR]

Hahaha. Tom Cruise taught Zac Efron how to ride a motorcycle. Oh did he now? How nice of him. Just one dude showing another dude how to ride something. Efron says it went down like this: “We were at a party and he says, ‘Hey man, do you ride motorcycles?’” Hahaha. Sweet god, you never, and we mean never, whether you be cute guy, girl, third-sexed alien creature, whatever, you do not do anything but run away when Tom Cruise says to you "Hey man, do you ride motorcycles?" Nothing good can ever come of that. Efron is lucky to be here to tell us this tale. But he's the exception. Though, now with this story, Cruise's line is sorta blown. He'll have to come up with a new one. "Hey guy, do you like card tricks and apple schnapps? Because I've got a ton of both back at my pad..." That should work. [THR]