The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types can care about. Today: Kelly Ripa will be on television forever, a first look at the new Snow White, and Jessica Chastain continues her reign, quite literally.

Actual spark-plug Kelly Ripa has just signed on the dotted line to be the co-host of Live! With Someone Other Than Regis and Kelly through 2017. After Regis leaves next week, the show will take on the sad temporary title of simply Live! With Kelly and then eventually her new co-host's name will be added.  (Fingers crossed for Eddie Murphy!) So, yeah. Five more years for ol' Miss Ripa. And here we thought she wouldn't last a year when she replaced Kathie Lee. Now it's been almost seven decades and thirteen million episodes, and she's still going strong. No word on what Ripa will be paid for this big deal, but it will probably be a slight raise over her current salary, which is 20 barrels of electricity a week, which she eats alone in her office, bright flashes and sparks spilling out into the hallway from under the door. [Deadline]

Here is a look at the first poster for next June's Snow White and the Huntsman, the fairytale action movie starring Kristen Stewart as a warrior Snow White. The graphics are definitely interesting in an almost 300-ish kind of way, and the director has made some pretty exciting commercials (it's possible!), but man if we can't get past that Kristen Stewart thing. Sure Charlize Theron as the Wicked Queen is great and Chris Hemsworth (playing the Huntsman) is a total dish, but... ugh. Kristen Stewart. Mumblor. Queen of the Mutters. Her kingdom stretches all the way from the Awkward Hair Touching bogs to the Murmuring Mountains in the east. She is just the worst about that. You can dress her up in armor and make her hold a sword, but can you make her stop doing what she does always? We sorta doubt it. [EW]

It seems that Nutty Professor II: The Klumps producer (small town!) Brian Grazer, Ron Howard's main collaborator, is the desired replacement for Brett Ratner to produce the newly orphaned Oscars. (Or, half orphaned.) That would be fine. Grazer and his crazy hair are Hollywood staples, and he doesn't seem like that much of a total jerk, so sure, go ahead, whatever. We all know far too much about the production of the Oscars at this point, so please just find someone and go about doing your magic behind-the-scenes fairy work that will produce, in a few short months time, a four hour bore that we'll all feel obliged to watch. Update: Confirmed! (Maybe) [THR]

A fellow name'a Jake Abel is said to be the frontrunner for one of the male leads in the movie adaptation of Stephenie "Savin' It" Meyers' novel The Host. Abel, who featured in the non-Oscar-winning Percy Jackson and the Olympians, would play a guy who makes it his girlfriend's responsibility to control his sexual urges named Ian. Celebrity scion Max Irons, brother of the huntsman Liam Hemsworth, and Game of Thrones dreamboat Kit Harington are in the running for the other lead, a guy who never has his shirt on and pursues a girl with insane passion for no clear reason even after she tells him she will never be with him I guess she's just that perfect and isn't that great for her named Jake (perfect!). [Deadline]

George Clooney says that his upcoming Alexander Payne collaboration The Descendants is so good that he'll be "shocked" if it does not receive an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture. Don't be so sure, Mr. Clooney! The way things are going lately there might not even be any Oscars. Nope, on Oscar night they'll just rerun How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days twice and then donate all of Wolfgang Puck's after party food to the homeless.  Haha, kidding, kidding. They would never donate the food to the homeless. They'll donate the food to Last Man Standing's craft services truck. [The Wrap]

Jilted director Julie Taymor is suing the producers of the disaster-prone Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark claiming that after they fired her as director and retooled the show, they continued to profit off of her work and therefore she is owed some dough. And she probably is! Do not doubt that for a second. But come on, Taymor. You're rich already! Do you really want to go all litigious about trying to get credit for that show? That horrendous stinker? That longest-previews-period-ever calamity? That dead armadillo on the side of the road? That tremendously lucrative thing for which you are probably owed millions of dollars? Oh, hm, OK, when you put it that way, we get it. Still. We'd like to think we'd just walk as far away from this thing as possible, no matter what money was at stake. Also -- hey, wait, is that a nickel in that trashcan? Be right back... [NYT]

So all these rumors are swirling that Jessica Chastain -- that actress who was somehow, must have been a clerical error or something, cast in every single movie made this year -- might be in talks to play Princess Diana in a planned biopic. This, of course, would royally (heh) piss off the Brits, because, y'know, Jessica Chastain is not English and there are lots of English actresses and probably an English actress should play one of modern Britain's most beloved and mourned figures. But, outrage aside, unfortunately that same secretary biffed it again and Chastain has been cast in every movie for next year too. So, you're outta luck, England. Sheesh, why won't Hollywood just fire this terrible secretary?? Other actors need work! Actors like Kristen Stewart! Actually, hm.  Actually, yeah, give that person a raise. [EW]