Here at The Atlantic Wire, we respect and value the social media editors who share the links that make our jobs easier. Sometimes, though, we have no idea what they're talking about. So after a day of staring at Twitter, we're sharing our favorite head-scratchers.
Is Tim Pawlenty secretly pro-choice? That's what his long-time golfing buddy says: http://bit.ly/iZpYaC
If you think this is a get, wait until you hear what Jon Huntsman's cribbage partner heard him say about prayer in public schools.
Russia says they'll find aliens by 2031: http://newser.me/jPYbHl
How will anybody be able confirm this? You know Putin's just going to try and turn the alien into a pet. And if that doesn't work out, he'll just keep it around as a friend for his existing pets.
Bagels, an American tragedy | http://ti.me/knJ4HA
We remember someone--possibly Hawthorne, although Google says otherwise--saying that the great American tragedy is getting what you want. This was apparently not the case. It's doughy pumpernickel bagels.
Fireworks safety tip No. 1: If guy holding M-80 says 'Hey, y'all watch this' -- RUN!! http://bit.ly/kCSAdD
Unless you're wearing protective goggles, in which case you're fine.
Turns out lightning has a thing for men — and Florida: http://bit.ly/ik9skH
You know who hasn't had a good week? Shia LaBeouf. Harrison Ford is swearing at him, nobody seems to buy his claim that he had a fling with Megan Fox, and Chicago Tribune film critic Michael Phillips says he "acts like a twisted, hyper-caffeinated rageaholic" throughout the new Transformer movie. But at least he hasn't been struck by lightning.
Universities: a half-baked Ivy League that spells two tiers of unfairness | Peter Wilby http://gu.com/p/3v8gf/tf
To paraphrase Eric Stratton, we're not going to sit here and listen to the Guardian badmouth the United States of America or its overly-expensive, 'half-baked' Ivy League universities. And that includes Cornell.