The Cannes Film Festival only opened yesterday, but the famous faces are already facing the festival's toughest challenge: inscrutable questions from members of the international media. Here are our favorites so far

To Woody Allen: "Is there another time you'd like to time travel to besides today? And also, was this movie a little more research intensive?"

Allen has a reputation for being press-shy in the U.S. but he can turn on the charm at Cannes for the international media. This out of out-of-left-field query lets him to channel his inner-Lacan and say, no, he would not like to travel back in time, since the human mind can "only extrapolate the nice things" from the past. Then someone will ask him if he considers himself an artist and he can reply, "I have never considered myself as an artist" in a room full of people who would consider him an artist.




 

To Robert De Niro: "Did you enjoy the making of A Bronx Tale?"

Why not ask about Goodfellas, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver or any of the other classic performances from this year's jury president? Because it's France. People are interested in the politely received coming-of-age story you made 17 years ago. They might even think it's your best work.

To Kung Fu Panda 2 voices Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, and Angelia Jolie: "Where do you find inner peace?"

New York magazine's Jada Yuan documented the strangest media meet-and-greet session of the festival, which also featured Jack Black singing Bobby McFerrin's "Blackbird" and an Italian reporter demanded to know if the cast really believed that pandas can experience existential dilemmas. ("Undoubtedly!" yelled Hoffman) In this regard, it resembled the Cannes press conference for the original Kung Fu Panda in 2008, which you can relive below, when Black announced Angelina Jolie was pregnant with triplets and Jolie was asked if she'd ever consider giving birth in Switzerland.




 

To Angelina Jolie: What do you think about bin Laden?

Jolie wisely declined to discuss the recently killed terrorist while promoting a children's film, much to the chagrin of the Irish reporter who asked the question."I'm here in the context of Kung Fu Panda; I'd rather not get into such a heavy issue," the star explained.

To Robert De Niro: "Did you fuck my wife?"

Two pranksters tried to lighten the mood at the end of the jury's press conference with De Niro's most famous line from Raging Bull. He didn't enjoy it. According to Barbara Scharrees, who is covering the festival for Roger Ebert's blog, after the question "De Niro's face reddened up noticeably and moderator Henri Behar snapped, 'I don't see the relevance of the question.'"


(Audio of both De Niro questions available here)