Prince William and Kate Middleton will be married in eight days. Until then, royal-fatigued media outlets will have to keep coming up with new and highly-specific ways of covering the wedding. Here are some of the ways newspapers managed to keep the couple and the ceremony in the news. Here's today's t minus 8 roundup. Come back tomorrow for t minus 7, and check out past installments here.

"Why Kate Middleton will make a better princess than Diana" -- The Telegraph

Diana was popular and charitable, but Kate Middleton might end up being the "better" princess. Why? Because she wasn't raised in an "emotionally arid and controlling background."

"The security headaches for Britain's royal wedding" -- Reuters

William and Kate are glamorous and famous. As a result, they're "nut-magnets." Among the nuts they're wedding needs to be protected from: "Islamist extremists," "Irish republican militants," "anarchists" and "crazed stalkers

"Royals just 'across the pond' scum'" -- New York Post

We dare you to read this Andrea Peyser column and not feel the urge to re-fight the Revolutionary War. Apparently William is a jerk who has been mean to the perfectly nice Kate Middleton, Prince Charles is a grown man who has never brushed his own teeth, and the entire Windsor family gets way too competitive during games of Monopoly. Typical red coats.

"Not just for royal weddings: Thousands buried at Westminster Abbey" -- CNN.com

If getting married next to thousands of dead bodies sounds less than romantic, consider that Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, Laurence Olivier are among the many notable names buried at Westminster Abbey. That's more star power than the living guest list has.

"'Prince William bachelor party photos!': Spam!" -- CNN Money

Go to your spam folder.See the email from someone you don't know about Prince William's bachelor party? DON'T OPEN IT. It will give your computer a virus. There are no photos from Prince William's bachelor party. He's spending the night before the wedding with his dad.