TOPIC: Lawsuit over chain using only 36 percent actual meat in their "seasoned beef"
RESPONSE: "Thank You For Suing Us"
THE AGGRESSIVE PART OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE: "The lawsuit is bogus and filled with completely inaccurate facts."
PURPOSE OF CAMPAIGN: To dissuade customers from believing that Taco Bell's "seasoned beef" is anything but the same as "the quality beef you buy in a supermarket and prepare in your home."
TALKING POINT: "OF COURSE WE USE REAL BEEF!"
CLARIFICATION: It's "88 percent beef and 12 percent secret recipe"
WHY A SECRET RECIPE? "Plain ground beef tastes boring"
COMPARE TO THE OTHER VERSION OF THE STORY: According to the Alabama law firm suing Taco Bell, the meat is 36 percent beef. "The other 64% is mostly tasteless fibers, various industrial additives and some flavoring and coloring," writes Gizmodo's Jesus Diaz.
AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUING US: "We are proud of the quality of our beef and identify all the seasoning and spice ingredients on our website. Unfortunately, the lawyers in this case elected to sue first and ask questions later--and got their 'facts' absolutely wrong. We plan to take legal action for the false statements being made about our food."