"Don't touch my junk is the anthem of the modern man, the Tea Party patriot, the late-life libertarian, the midterm election voter. Don't touch my junk, Obamacare--get out of my doctor's examining room, I'm wearing a paper-thin gown slit down the back. Don't touch my junk, Google--Street View is cool, but get off my street. Don't touch my junk, you airport security goon--my package belongs to no one but me, and do you really think I'm a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?"

- Charles Krauthammer, influential conservative pundit, commenting on his "package," "junk," and "johnson" in The Washington Post