Pat Sajak--Wheel Of Fortune host, payroll tax critic, and occasional Marylander--has joined Twitter. Actually, he joined Twitter something like six weeks ago, but we're only now convinced the account is his work and not that of Rahm Emanuel or a politically active federal employee out for revenge. Below, a sampling of his most Sajackian zingers:

Having a meeting of the Game Show Hosts Club at our secret clubhouse later today. Hope Trebek doesn't forget the key again.less than a minute ago via web


Hoped to poke fun at @LadyGaga raw meat outfit with all-veggie Halloween costume, but my lettuce is wilting.less than a minute ago via web


People are really sickos! I just opened a new pack of razor blades I bought last night, and someone had stuck a piece of apple inside.less than a minute ago via web


Trying to write environmental song. Having trouble rhyming "sewage."less than a minute ago via web


Pentagon study shows prolonged sunbathing in full uniform creates odor issues. May institute "Don't Bask, Don't Smell" regulations.less than a minute ago via web


Thinking of changing my name to something hipper. Torn between JayKay and pless than a minute ago via txt


Either all young people are starting to look alike to me as I get older, or @justinbieber just delivered my morning paper.less than a minute ago via web


Trying to help my daughter with history paper on War of 1812. Anyone know when it was fought?less than a minute ago via txt


Always being told to spay and neuter my pets. Seems like overkill. Wouldn't spay OR neuter be more humane?less than a minute ago via web


What's another word for "thesaurus"?less than a minute ago via web


Please don't follow me too closely. I tend to make sudden stops.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone