The standard reply from someone who doesn't want to join Twitter is usually something along the lines of, "I don't care what (insert name of semi-famous media personality) had for lunch." On days like Monday, it's kind of possible to see where they're coming from.

Slate's John Dickerson struggled with a giant sandwich

Why must the hotel club sandwich always be so ridiculously large?less than a minute ago via TweetDeck

The Washington Post's Ezra Klein didn't appreciate an international coffee chain urging him to go green

Caribou Coffee wants me to go green by buying cloth sleeve for my coffee, individually wraps every single stirrer in its own paper package.less than a minute ago via web

Sports Illustrated's Will Carroll called out people's champ Dunkin' Donuts

Dunkin gave me a coffee with cream and sugar yesterday. OMG how do you people drink that?less than a minute ago via Tweetie for Mac

ESPN basketball writer Marc Stein stumbled upon a haunted Five Guys

Five Guys in Dallas: Near-empty every time I've checked. In-N-Out in Dallas: Getting congratulatory e-mails/tweets like I've had another kidless than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter

Politico's Patrick Gavin belatedly voiced his displeasure with an overpriced cola

Just remembered that last week's $4.68 for a glass of Diet Coke at Casa Nonna was Tweet-outrage worthyless than a minute ago via TweetDeck

NPR's Scott Simon resisted (or didn't?) the whole food-truck fad

Kimchi Burrito at Korean Twist food truck in Portland--wow! The story of Americas stomach, too.less than a minute ago via Birdhouse

Business writer Heidi Moore found herself in an alternate dimension...

At ING Direct cafe to meet editor. It's a cafe full of ING Direct products, serving tea and coffee and sandwiches like an orange Starbucksless than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter she didn't understand...

I was baffled. "So this is a cafe based on a bank?" I asked. "No," both the guys behind counter said. "It's a bank based on a cafe."less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter

...nor did anyone else...

"we don't make money on any of this," one said to me, gesturing at the menu. "It's marketing. The coffee is a metaphor for how easy it is."less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter

...even though they understood our language...

"We hope that people will open an account with us." I paused. "So you're not baristas?" "No," they said in unison. "We're bankistas."less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter

...and sang human songs.

And then they both said, in unison with the hip-hop remake of the song currently on the sound system, "And that's just the way it is."less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter