Even 30 years after his assassination by Mark David Chapman, it seems too soon to imagine life if John Lennon had survived. Still, David Kamp ventures in, attempting to do so with admirable humor and creativity in a Vanity Fair faux-interview with Lennon at 70.

What has the alternately loving, sad, angry, and surreal songsmith been up to all these years? Mostly the same things we've all been doing: divorcing Yoko Ono, swimming naked, emailing with Paul McCartney, dating Padma Lakshmi, quoting Austin Powers, and voting for Ronald Reagan.

If that hasn't whetted your appetite already, this will:

it was Ono who brokered the introductions that led to his two small triumphs of the last decade: his return to movie acting in Jim Jarmusch’s Fish Tanque (2003), in which he affectingly played against type as the repressed English-expat owner of an aquarium store in Chicago’s Bulgarian-heavy Albany Park neighborhood; and Coarse Salt, the noise-rock collaboration with Sonic Youth’s Lee Ranaldo that Pitchfork deemed the fourth-best album of 2007.
Enjoy the full piece here.