CAUSE: The arrest of competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi for storming the stage at Nathan's hot dog eating competition
APARTHEID COMPARISON: "It's an act of authoritarian heavy-handedness which recalls the imprisonment of Mandela."
WHY THEY LOVE THE HOT DOG EATING CONTEST: "Embodying as it does the core American values of gluttony and obscene gluttony."
REACTION TO KOBAYASHI'S NON-PARTICIPATION: "The competitive eating world's arthritic jaws dropped."
INEVITABLE HEART DISEASE REFERENCE: "So like a Wimbledon final without Federer or a World Cup final without Brazil, the Nathan's hot dog eating contest unfolded with a Kobayashi-shaped hole in its fatty heart."
SAD ENDING: "We're just disappointed that television gold like this may be consigned to history."