Free agency talks with basketball's second coming, LeBron James, started today and while almost everyone has an opinion on where he'll end up, the consensus is that by Monday he'll be holding the jersey from one of six top-paying NBA teams.

Not so fast, says Peter Mehlman at the Huffington Post. The television writer and Seinfeld producer has his own idea of where LeBron should go: "my Monday night game at the Santa Monica YWCA."

He then offers up a rehearsal of his pitch to lure James from the big, high-paying NBA to move to Mehlman's weekly pickup match, saying,

The game plan is to open my spiel by telling Mr. James that if he joins my game he'd never again have to play any away games. Surely, that will be an eye-opener. Then, to close the deal, I'll throw out my piece de resistance: play with us, Mr. James, and you never have to talk to another sportswriter ever again.
And what of the maximum contracts likely to be handed out to James from Mehlman's, um, competitors--the Bulls, Heat, or Nets? Their huge proferred paydays will be no temptation:
With a man of Mr. James' gifts, I'm confident his choice will ultimately come down to style of play. If I can get him to focus on the benefits of our 'run and gun' system in which there are no coaches, no referees, no defense, no three-second violations, no shot clock, no fans, no groupies, no drug testing, no practices, games to 14 and a college-length three-point line, everything could fall into place real fast.