You might have thought that Whitesnake, the big-haired leaders of 1980s heavy metal ballad-making, were only good for ironic karaoke and late-night dive-bar jukebox jams. But you'd be wrong, because Whitesnake simply cannot stop innovating. As of July 1, the band will release their first-ever Whitesnake wine, a $24.95 zinfandel of the 2008 vintage. Whitesnake introduces the bottled fury:

It's a bodacious, cheeky little wine, filled to the brim with the spicy essence of sexy, slippery Snakeyness... I recommend it to complement any & all grown up friskiness & hot-tub jollies...

Is this love?... I believe it is...
  • Entertainment Weekly's Kate Ward  "Based on that description, I’m not totally convinced that this isn’t just corked hot tub water, but I’m willing to give it a try. I’ll let you know how it is after I swig it in my own jacuzzi, surrounded by PopWatch groupies and Brian Krause. Translation: I’ll let you know how it is after I swig it in a karaoke room, surrounded by fellow PopWatchers singing Here I Go Again. Translation: I’ll let you know how it is after I swig it in my studio apartment, surrounded by my cat watching me sing Here I Go Again…on my own."
  • The Consumerist's Chris Morran  "Tired of the same old stuffy wines? Are they missing that special something that would blow your hair out to epic proportions and make Tawny Kitaen writhe half-naked on the hood of your car? ... It's a zinfandel for those who care about such things."
  • The A.V. Club's Sean O'Neal  "Promising the same bittersweet taste as its heartsick ballads, self-reflective metal band Whitesnake is now bottling and selling its very own wine. ... it will compete with other rock-star wines such as Maynard James Keenan’s Caduceus Cellars and Kip Winger’s Bottled Salty Tears."