SUBJECT: Sex and the City 2
AKA: "essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls"
THESIS: "SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human--working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled c**t like it's my job--and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car."
TRANSLATION OF THE SEX AND THE CITY PREMISE: "'If I wasn't rich, I'd definitely just kill myself right away with a knife!' ... Clink!"
FEMINISM A LA SAMANTHA, CARRIE, MIRANDA, AND CHARLOTTE: "Abu Dhabi is crawling with Muslim women--and not one of them is dressed like a super-liberated diamond-encrusted fucking clown!!! Oppression! OPPRESSION!!!"
WEST DEMONSTRATES WHAT IS KNOWN AS THE INTRODUCTORY PHRASE: "Samantha, being the
COMMENT ON THE SISTERLY SOLIDARITY MESSAGE OF SATC 2:
At sexism's funeral (which takes place in a mysterious, incense-shrouded chamber of international sisterhood), the women of Abu Dhabi remove their black robes and veils to reveal--this is not a joke--the same hideous, disposable, criminally expensive shreds of cloth and feathers that hang from Carrie et al.'s emaciated goblin shoulders. Muslim women: Under those craaaaaaay-zy robes, they're just as vapid and obsessed with physical beauty and meaningless material concerns as us! Feminism! Fuck yeah!