Attention all baseball fans: now is your chance to buy all of the professional baseball stadium tchotchkes your heart desires. And when we say "all," we really do mean everything, from a customized team van to batting cages to nacho cheese dispensers. 

On Saturday, the recently broke minor league Newark Bears are auctioning off over 300 items from their stadium as the struggling franchise shuts its doors for good, The New York Times details. Poor attendance and a terrible record saw the team bounced from it's league during the offseason, and with nowhere left to play, they're forced into a fire sale.

Hopes were high for the Bears when taxpayers of Essex County bore the $34 million cost of a beautiful new stadium in 1999. But Newark suffered through a series of mediocre owners, none of whom could turn around the team. The team has not been associated with any major league system in years (meaning no up and coming superstars on the roster) and attendance sagged, losses continued, and debt piled up at the waterfront stadium.

Finally, the current owners are selling off anything that isn't bolted down to the stadium itself. What exactly is up for sale on Saturday? Here's a list of some of the most intriguing, unique items for your shrine to the beauty of baseball, all listed on AuctionZip.

Baseball food and drink items

There aren't any peanuts and cracker jacks, but items from food vendors dominate the auction lists. That includes a SuperPretzel Machine:

One of those old-fashioned hot dog rollers:

And that gooey neon yellow nacho cheese dispenser:

For those looking more for decor rather than functionality, the team also has neon Heineken, Corona, and Coors Light signs up for auction. Combine those with this behind-the-store menu, and you've got the beginnings of your own bar.

Customized Team Transportation

No more team means no more use for the transportation of that team. Thus the official team bus, leather seats and all, is up for auction.

As is the gauche Newark Bears-customized van:

Other minor league teams have already inquired about purchasing these items, so the bidding could get expensive here.

Actual baseball field items

Coaches and team owners can get in on the action, too. This netted batting cage will be up for auction on Saturday.

There's also a tarp to protect the field on a rainy day, with dual use as an epically large slip-and-slide.

And a John Deere tractor for the lawn mowing artist inside all of us.

Everything else

There are over 300 items to be auctioned off in all. We'd say that the sale includes everything but the kitchen sink, except that's actually for sale, too.

(Images via AuctionZip)