SoulCycle

On Monday, the nation faced one of its darkest days in history. Panic crept in, hashtags like "#helpme" were invented, souls were at stake ... or was it cycles. SoulCycle, the life-giving exercise regimen of the nation's elite, had gone down. The extreme cycling class, sometimes described lovingly as a "cult" by members and a little less lovingly by those who haven't yet been converted,  was testing out a new website on Monday when site malfunctions began popping up. SoulCyclers couldn't book classes (which are around $35-40 a pop) on the new site, and those like Yan Wang began to panic:

Notice the caps-lock and the double punctuation. That symbolizes yelling, fear, anger and confusion. And that hashtag is usually reserved for the likes of Cory Booker. Yan wasn't the only one. Another cycler felt like she was being murdered because she couldn't sign up for classes:

This one prayed to her gods. The gods she probably shunned for SoulCycle:

This panic and anger make not make sense to anyone who's never been to SoulCycle. But think of it like addiction. And to these people, SoulCycle and burning up to 700 calories at a single class is their vice. Some people have heroin, these people, along with celebrities like Jake Gyllenhaal and Oprah, get their fixes through bumping music and challenging pedaling. Missing out on a class could make regulars feel like their muscles are slowly drifting into atrophy. 

Luckily, SoulCycle managed to fix their site by the next day.

The company told Page Six that the problems should all be resolved. And for a moment, the world was at peace again.