Wrap your hope in cellophane and box it away for another year, because Hostess says its last ditch effort to make amends with its bakers' union "was unsuccessful." We know we got you excited on Monday, when Hostess suspended its bankruptcy hearing, after Hostess agreed to mediation at the judge's recommendation. All that talk about a Mexican takeover of the classic American brand and Twinkie joining the Pabst Blue Ribbon family is now back on the table. Don't blame the unions, though. Ken Hall, secretary-treasurer of the Teamsters union sounded genuinely disappointed after the talks fell through. "This is a tragic outcome," said the union leader.
It's true. Now that talks between Hostess and the union have failed, 18,500 jobs will almost certainly be lost. Twinkies will disappear from grocery store shelves -- at least for a little while. And you'll be forced to hear about crazy people trying to sell the golden creme-filled treats for $200,000 for another week or two. If you can a bright side, please quickly find a Hostess employee, and share it with them.
Hostess is staying silent on the whole matter until its bankruptcy hearing reconvenes on Wednesday. The company's plants are already closed, and everything looks like it's ready to be liquidated. After a bunch of legal paperwork, Hostess will fade to black-and-white like Circuit City or Borders or Kodak or any of the many other failed American companies. We'll miss Hostess. Mostly because we'll miss the fun scientific experiment that was figuring out what was inside its its weird cake things.